Class in the Key of Sass

Often, the mispronounced, Konglish'd version of English that many students vocalize is more than simply a failed attempt at proper English; it is frequently far more accurate and descriptive then the formal alternative.

student receiving simple instructions on how to write a sentence: "teach-arr! veddy stress-uh!!"
teacher: "yes i see, it must be stressful to fail basic motor skill tasks"

There are also students who have decided that they are the pinnacle of non-native English speakers and subsequently outclass all others humans with respect to everything ever. It is amusing to call these students farmers and gauge their reactions, employing several simple statements of defamation to coincide with each attempt they make to rally confidence.

student: "you know, my dad is soooooooooo rich that he bought me the ocean just for a swimming pool!"
teacher: "really? cool! but it will difficult for you to swim in it when you are writing me a 3-page report on why your head is too large for your body"
student: "and i have so much money that i gave away a billion dollars just because i didn't want to buy anything that day!"
teacher: "that's very generous of you, but all the money in the world won't help the 50% grade i'm giving you today for participation"

The owner of my hogwan makes frequent attempts to convince staff that he is related in the familial sense to money. Which is strange, because as staff, we already know that he probably sweats and bleeds money. So for example, Korea is bordered by ocean. Most of Canada is not. If a co-worker remarks that sushi is notably cheaper in Korea than in Saskatchewan, the boss counters with subtle phrases such as "no, that's wrong...sushi in Korea isn't cheap...it's actually verrry expensive". He will then buy more sushi. A dollar of the boss' money is far more valuable than all other dollars.