Into the Fray...

Hmmmmm. Being back in the homeland has led to curious realizations. The bridge spanning from a life of Asian to one of Caucasian has produced rifts in social experience and interpretations.

People don't take care of themselves. Interestingly enough, health clubs and gyms offering crazy-ass deals and membership programs appear to in no way dissuade the population from gorging on McDonald's and denial. This truth is held self-evidently.

Anxiety stems from even the most simple of interactions. Walking around a crowded area and being able to understand what people are discussing and how poorly they are discussing it, is an unusual and awkward event. Additionally, my grade 8 Korean class could furiously outwit a decent cross-section of the local population, not to mention perform any number of tasks with far greater efficiency. They are also affectionate to each other, and don't see each other as potential threats. Many people appear to have resigned these qualities in favour of masking themselves in whatever the latest fashion trends are, and agreeing with their peers that there are in fact problems in the world, but not actually offering or contributing any original ideas or solutions of their own. An entire generation of plagiarism. Or maybe I've just become cynical or too polite to fit in back home.

Anxiety also persists in no longer being able to systematically select my interactions. Being confronted in stores by charismatic employee with a penchant for offering assistance makes me slink stealthily away as inconspicuously as possible, which is often difficult when I'm alone in the store. I absent-mindedly mangle some sentence of broken Korean mixed with jumbled English and stare at the wall while attempting to regroup and formulate a more appropriate plan. Then I casually hum a tune and turn up the volume on my Ipod, thereby eliminating unwanted hassling, friendly or otherwise, and confidently remove myself from the store.

While dining with family at a restaurant offering a wide variety of Asian cuisine, 2 men eating nearby candidly amused themselves by phoning a local business in search of a colleague and to have the phone answered by a Chinese man, who spoke with a slight accent. Several racist insinuations later they continued eating, demonstrating that modern civilization has canceled out the useful and essential function of natural selection.

Speaking coherently is no longer a challenge. The thrill of practicing a new language and witnessing the success or failure of each attempt no longer exists. Therefore, I intend to become severely intoxicated in order to foster a repetition of this type of experience.