Noticeable Notables

1.) Korean nationalism is now reaching Promethean heights. With the loss of patriotism due to a veritable blowout of Team Korea by Team Swiss Army of Satan and Rampant Cheating Blasphemers, wounded national conscience has stepped eagerly into the vice of the 'blame game'. Students are seen and heard demonstrating their violent hatred of the Swiss team players, the officials ref-ing the match, and the fact that Noble Korea has been dealt such a swift hand of prejudice by fate. Dogmatic faculties such as logic and reason are often cast aside, as they do not appear to be permissible when dealing with the soul of the nation.

2.) Mickey Mouse appears to be a reigning hero for Koreans. In N. America, he is traditionally the symbol of child-like innocence and benevolence, academically considered the symbol of aggressive multi-national marketing aimed at brainwashing the malleable minds of young people, and therefore not symbols that adults are proud of owning for themselves. In Korea, buying a Mickey Mouse printed t-shirt, preferably marshmallow pink, is just about the most popular aesthetic move one can make, catering directly into the now full-swing operation of Asian metro-sexual trend-setting. I often wonder how easy it might be to introduce any number of silly gimmicks from other cultures upon an unsuspecting public (for example, perhaps the Nazi swastika) and watch in mesmerized awe as it becomes a national fashion phenomenon.

3.) Contractual obligations are synonymous with 'this means pretty much fuck all, you docile, gullible meat'. Such observations are interesting, given the extent of such obligations' function and meaning back in the lands of Canadiana. For example, working in a hogwan means that you get 2 weeks of paid vacation (in compliance with contractual obligatory facts). But you actually get no minutes of paid anything. It's a fun and amusing system of supposed authenticity that is nationally condoned.

4.) For a poignant, super fun look into the nature of weight and neurotic behaviour in foreigners in SK, go here...or perish:
www.clemensonline.com/news.htm

Unit Len Teacher

I have become a machine. A particularly foreign piece of coggery; a minion; a servant; a slave of epic proportions under the "Foreigners Don't Have Rights Because They Worship the Devil [money]" act of 2006. It is an interesting position to find oneself in. This is not due to a particularly oppressive work environment, nor inability to blend seemlessly into SK culture (beards, piercings and a penchant for sweating alerts locals immediately of a foreign entity present), life itself just overcomes you.

par example: There are 3.5 hours of free time allocated for this week. Do you:
a) run to the PC bang and desperately try to maintain intermittent contact with past friends and family
b) search frantically for people to drink with
c) cry
d) laugh at how lucky you are to have this much time to think about anything and then immediately fall asleep for a total of 6 hours, effectively quashing any number of responsibilities already promised.

The sheer quantity of engagements under any number of headings follows a bar graph with a parabolically rising curve. As all high school math students can realize, a parabola never fully becomes congruent, and another graph must be drawn, indicating speed of aging relevant to ascending parabolic slope. Under this method, age 60 can be approached in a matter of months. I fully expect to be bald and wrinkled by the time my ESL stint extinguishes. I then plan to use the remainder of my life to accost all agents of offense which have led directly to my condition. However, I also plan to roll in a significantly medium-sized fish-bowl of money.

Time allocation is a tricky, evil bastard, guilty of swindeling myriad happy, listless hours of pleasure away in exchange for a job of limitless responsibilities. One's once stalwart chum can become one's occasional acquaintance. To experience the entirety of life abroad, a vast number of sacrifices need to be made, and numerous treacherous conditions accepted.
Language must be learned.
Culture must be experienced.
Places must be visited.
Locals must be interrogated.
Artistic efforts must not be slowed.
Vision must not lose fortitude.

Punctuality and time become constant nemeses.
Operation: Moneyspend becomes an outlet of great release and of great admonishment.
Sleep becomes a mythical luxury.

Korean attempt at creative marketing

K1 Corea FIGHTING!!!!!!!!

It's true. "Fight-ing" is a word used to basically resemble "yeah!" or "awesome!" in English. Subsequently, more information was needed, and tickets therefore acquired for the K1 spectacular at Olympic Park.

background: K1 is a mysterious combat sport where seemingly random contestants knock each other about until one is rendered unconcscious, or the 3 rounds of battle run their course. There do not appear to be specific weight categories. Additionally, there appear to be no specific qualifications needed to become a K1 fighter, save for marketability or potential for marketability.

examples: Korea's favourite combatant is a local named Hong Man Choi, a gentle behemoth who towers at the height of 7 "3. The decision to place him in K1 is obvious: even the world's strongest man would have a tough time knocking over a 400 pound slab of concrete. Especially when it has the ability to hit you back.

Pros: Men from around the world entertain the audience by appealing to either nationalism, male machismo/pride, or physical superiority.

Cons: Men from around the world entertain the audience by appealing to either nationalism, male machismo/pride, or physical superiority.

the little guy is the 6 "11, invincible, bone-rending Dutchman

gentle giant Hong Man Choi 

Mom in Korea

After growing tired of life devoid of chaos, hardship, and difficulty, my mom decided to venture out into the wild unknown of Korea to reclaim some of these lost moments of gold. This was an exciting opportunity for her to gather crucial data for further research in the field of clinical psychology, what is casually addressed as "why are my kids so weird?", a research focus which will be a crowning achievement once she officially becomes a psychologist and therefore might need be addressed as Dr. Mom. Doctor-in-training mom brought with her a key specimen for this research, identified as unit C, the Geoff organism, a wily, traveling hippy-musician-hobo-subhuman. This was advisable, as unit C lacks the capacity to feel humiliation or embarrassment, a noble trait when one frequently and inadvertantly does something horribly outrageous, as one is want to do when comprehension of foreign society borders on zero.

Research began in a small restaurant that is open 24 hours a day. Here, it was discovered that spice is like a food group in Korea, and that under no circumstances can substantial nourishment without it be purchased.

Monumental achievements were experienced during a brief lit at Gyungbokgung, the Royal Palace of Seoul. It was observed that unit C initiates the 'curiosity gene' in local citizenry, thereby enticing younger members to point, stare, and generally be awesome, as subhuman hippy beings are completely alien to the acute conservatism engendering the lives of Korean schoolchildren.

The most revolutionary breakthroughs occured during the course of a Saturday night/Sunday morning exhibition in Hongdae, the specified "rock 'til the socks come off" district of Seoul. The doctor was unwittingly forced to partake in or at the very least endure such rituals as 'beer drinking' and 'gin-sipping'. The doctor's report was conclusive: these activities have now been scientifically proven to make people cooler, more attractive, and better conversationalists.

Doctor & various research specimens

local he-man displaying bicep for further study 

unit C experiencing local customary welcome