...on achieving excellence

Kindergarten Spelling Test

words: sure, kitten

1.) sㄹ ear
2.) kron sonk

"wherefore cometh this luminiferous orb? it cometh from a mystic vacuity" (Preston the Magnificent)

on the map at 786 feet

sakura - first cherry blossoms of the season

i salute my robotic overlords and cheerfully look forward to their generous governance

local champions keepin' it real

best cat ever

Expiration Date: never

I find myself in unfamiliar territory. And the curiosity lies in finding this unfamiliarity familiar.

a) Unlike the extensive militaristic history experienced by the Japanese, Korean interests and identity lie strongly rooted in the very recent past and even moreso in the present. It is not unlike Hawthorne desiring to create an authentically American novel in the face of such notable historic pasts such as Germany or Britannia's, or the earnest of Tolkien in envisioning an ostensibly British narrative of heroism and mythology before writing Lord of the Rings: Korean ideology remains focused on progress, translating to mean the relentless pursuit of sometimes questionable education and repetitive instruction. My students have avowed to me that they love Korea but sometimes hate living here. And they hate Japan. Because Japanese people live there. Because the Japanese are murderous, adulterous psychopaths who seek domination and conquest over all good and noble and pure and perfect things. Like Korea.

b) For most Korean professionals, the act of drinking is not merely a social indulgence but an occupational necessity; indeed many business relationships are fosted under the guise of several bottles of soju, which I routinely experience the tail end of on my home from work, watching nameless suits embrace and prop each other up while making vain attempts to simultaneously hail a bus, get inside a cab or walk home. Sometimes I greet them with a friendly 'hello', causing them to carouse and jabber in my general direction, although often not near to where I am actually standing. A man fell out of the bus on my way home the other day. The door opened and instead of walking, he firmly planted his feet and leaned out the door. Nobody moved or laughed or aroused themselves in any way. He smiled. I think he was happy because he knew that he had tricked that sneaky bus and escaped through a bout of unintentional imbalance.

c) Learning Korean is a tricky beast.
example -
infidel: 'Annyong haseyo. E-mart-uh ka chuseyo (Hello. Please take me to Emart-uh. [always need to add the 'uh' just as Japanese add the 'oh' to everything])'
driver: 'mumble...kajus...waigoo..........mollayo...'
infidel: 'E-M-A-R-T-UH??'
driver: *shakes head
infidel: '...ack!'
*signs furiously and gesticulates wildy, pointing
*writes in Korean 'e-mart-uh'
driver: 'oh, E-mart-uh?'
infidel: 'i hate my life.'

K-Pop

Korea has its own style of popular music, loosely modeled on American pop music circa 2000-2004.....even moreso than North American tastes, K-Pop is a type of marketing system that is transfixed almost entirely on hair style and aesthetic fashion.....porcelain, chiseled faces, caustic androgyny, and hair styles that require hours and incalculable quantities of hair products, are perfect for establishing a new idol in this genre.....instructing said inductee in any number of simple, yet wholly ridiculous dance routines and lip-sync-ing exercises becomes an easy matter once these basic properties have been established.....there are several popular 'artists' who a listener can, with little effort, realize that the notes his or her voice is straining to hit are anywhere from about 5 tones to an entire octave out of this person's comfortable singing range.....the result is a sound not unlike a gerbil whizzing through a garbage disposal in a wind tunnel.....and listening to it feels like being hit in the head with a hammer for about 5 minutes

that being said, norae bangs (karaoke music rooms) have spawned an entire generation of Koreans who possess fabulous singing voices.....unfortunately, they are not as marketable as the melodramatic plastic idols found pervading K-Pop.....and so one routinely cringes at the mere suggestion of Korean radio play, remembering that garberated gerbils have little talent for music performance

in Korea, strangely-dressed androgynous mannequins often pass for 'musicians'

Melange

reminiscent of David Linch's epic DUNE, Korea enjoys an unpredictable span of time each year whereby China unleashes its fury by mixing large quantities of pollution with yellow dust from the Gobi desert.....this cloud of dust then ushers its way over to Korea, seeing as it notices that Korea has air that is far too pure (joke).....incidentally, this yellow spice does not expand consciousness or allow one to fold space (such as in DUNE) but instead covers everything in a fine yellow crust and makes breathing into a marathon event.....this is interesting, judging that myriad Koreans will lurk around outside for a few minutes, periodically stopping to smoke a pack of cigarettes.....upon completion of this mission, they will put a mask on.....however, keep in mind that this particular maneuvre couldn't fool a blind cave lizard cemented in concrete.....the donning of the mask after the lungs are assaulted by poisons is a mystifying and confusing activity.....perhaps it is an attempt to keep all the dust and chemicals inside the lungs.....one can never be too sure when witnessing cultural differences

yellow dust storm

air quality: zero